Mississippi has Oil

Every time I start making a list about how devastating the oil spill is to the Gulf Coast, I get so overwhelmed and start to feel like someone I love dearly has died. You know that weight you get on your chest when sadness comes. We visited the coast in April. My little one kicked up her heels in the chilly waters. The beaches had never been prettier. We walked on the beach in Long Beach and Bay St, Louis. The sand was so clean having been scrubbed by big machines after Katrina. We find seashells that have been scrubbed smooth and seem chalky. I never want to keep them, because they don't look like real shells anymore. The girls bring them home anyway and I'll find them in my car or in the bottom of a tote bag. They think any seashell is pretty, but I have other ideas about the caliber of shell I want to go in my shell basket. I would give anything for those white chalky shells now.

Summer

It's here finally and it came to Georgia with a vengeance. It is so hot already! My mornings are nice-spent in the corner of a big old couch with a cup of coffee and my Bible. I've settled into some books I've had stacked up beside my quiet space. Francis Chan's Forgotten God and Crazy Love are kicking my butt. I don't even know how to respond to them, but I'm finding a willingness in my heart and peace as I've begged God to fill me with his Spirit and guide my every step. What are you reading?

Trusting God

My last month has been a blur. It is a haze of work and home with little snippets of joy tucked here and there. The chronic pain that I live with is at an all time high, so I tend to crawl inside my despair and hang out there alone and wait for the pain to pass. A little over a month ago, I found myself crying in my orthopaedic doctor's office. This led to a procedure last Friday which will hopefully provide some relief.
I'm currently reading Trusting God by Jerry Bridges and it is giving me some great insight into God's sovereignty and our response to adversity in our lives. The ideas I had conjured up about why bad things happen really weren't based on scripture, but based more on a Pollyanna idea of God's goodness. Those ideas worked for me for a long time until I asked God to grow me up as a Christian and I went all in. I like answers. I like looking back on past events and seeing a bigger picture that was obscured until all the dust had cleared. I guess I feel so miserable in my pain sometimes that I found some comfort in trying to understand what God was trying to teach me in it and that there was some grand purpose that God would reveal to me. It would all be made clear and I would have peace and I can hear a choir of angels singing as God reveals a glorious purpose for my suffering. Not! If I'm getting it, that is not it at all. What I need to be doing is nothing more than trusting-just trusting-not understanding.
God is sovereign-his ways are not my ways-his wisdom is beyond anything I can comprehend. I honor God by trusting him. My prayer needs to be God, I do not have to understand, I just trust you. It doesn't mean that I won't see God's purpose or he won't reveal the bigger picture to me; it just means that if I want peace, I need to stop trying to find comfort in understanding God's wisdom. I just need to trust that all things are for his glory and my good. "An unreserved trust of God, when we don't understand what is happening or why, is the only road to peace and comfort and joy." (Trusting God)

Psalm 131:2 I have stilled and quieted my soul.

I'm linking my attempt to unwrap my pain to Tuesdays Unwrapped over at Chatting at the Sky.

Still Busy

I'm still drowning in busy, but have found some truths to cling to during this season of being overcome with tasks. I love this scripture. I love knowing God will be my portion. Lamentations 3:22-24 Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning;great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him."

My gratitude list continues:
41. walking on cold days
42. spinach
43. Baby Willow
44. new jeans
45. conviction of right & wrong
46. interruptions from God
47. my new hairdo
48. FCA
49. Christian parents at school
50. prayers of my little girl

Furloughed

I sit here looking at my life and wonder how in the world I made it to this point. My mind is filled with ideas for several different posts and I have not the ability to focus on any one in particular much less write anything that makes sense. The hours in my days seem to get stripped from me each day and I start the next trying to recall what needs to be handled on this new day that was put off on the day that has past. Did that make any sense at all? See what I mean? I hate busy. The only reason I sit this morning typing a blog post is that I'm furloughed from work, so I have an extra twenty minutes that I can do something with and maybe I won't feel too guilty over something else left undone.
Last weekend I was able to sit still and hear Lysa Terkeurst speak at a church in Roswell. I loved every second of it and didn't even mind feeling so raw at the end of the day. The photo with Lysa and me and flat hair is on my phone, so I'll have to post it on another day. (She has on a really cute sweater that may make up for my flat hair.)
On Sunday, my church had a guest speaker, Dave Edwards, and he made me laugh and I think I cried again.
My gratitude list continues:
31. snow in Georgia
32. God's way of speaking to me
33. the ministry of Lysa Terkeurst
34. Paul's story
35. Saints winning the Super Bowl
36. Christian friends at work
37. Valentine hearts
38. having a burden for my students
39. conviction to forgive
40. Tiramisu

Plan b & Renee Swope

My day started out very rushed with one thing or another making me take deep breaths and saying " okay, so let's move on to plan b". Plan a was just not gonna happen today. I would love to tell you that I am this wonderfully patient woman that handles curveballs without so much as a flinch, but it would be just a big ole lie. Today though I would like to humbly thank my heavenly Father for his gift of deep breathing and reminding me that my circumstances will pass, but his joy would stand firm through the challenges of getting a family off for the day.

I had read this earlier (before the morning got out of control) and had even printed it out and tucked it into my journal.
It's from Renee Swope's blog and it's simplicity really spoke to me this morning.

An strong oak or a puney pine?

Before Christ, I felt like a weak and wimpy pine tree. Tossed by the winds of my emotions. Defined by my circumstances. Uprooted by life's storms. Despair was my story.

But in CHRIST - I am rooted in God's love. With Christ I am...Strengthened by life's storms. Transformed by trials. An oak of righteousness, planted for HIS glory!

Because of Jesus, that is what we are...

They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of His splendor. ~Isaiah 61:3

I'm linking this to Tuesdays Unwrapped over at Chatting at the Sky.This oak tree stood firm through the winds of Katrina.

A Bump

Last week I hit a bump. It made me quiver inside and I felt my resolve give in to ideas and thoughts that would only create distance if spoken out. I prayed and cried. I told God every angry thought I had about the situation and then I told him my biggest shame was letting a problem in this life rob me of my peace and joy. The weight in my chest eventually lifted and I chose to praise God and to trust him. "I have no hope but you I cried and in that moment something died". I grew a little that day.

Hebrews 10:35-36
Do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.

I'm linking to Tuesdays Unwrapped over at Chatting at the Sky

ABC Flashcards

My SIL keeps our Bird on the Sunday nights we have our small group meeting. She loves spending time with her and they both stay busy throughout the evening. Last night my sil was reviewing ABC flashcards with her and trying to get her to come up with other words that started with the sound of the letter on the card. When they reached U my Bird couldn't think of any other words, so my sil said "underwear" which started lots of giggling. My Bird then responded "I know one-Um-diddle-diddle-um-diddleye". I love Mary Poppins!
My gratitude list continues:
21. Mary Poppins
22. Our sense of humor
23. Snow flurries
24. Inspiring words from unexpected places
25. T-Bone's New Job
26. Passion for following Christ
27. Shrimp Creole
28. The New Orleans Saints great season
29. New friends
30. Answered prayers

he loves us

I really love this song and have been listening to the cover version by the David Crowder Band. It was playing as I was driving home in the snow flurries the other day. The beauty of the winter sky and the words that reinforce what I already know were a welcome end to the workday.

He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realise just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.

And oh, how He loves us so,
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us all

He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.
Yeah, He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.

We are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.
So Heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way…

He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.
Yeah, He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.

Dog Pee & Pioneer Woman

So I made the mistake of stopping by Pioneer Woman this morning and now I'm wanting to make this Southwest Corn Dip & the Bacon Wrapped Pineapple Bites plus I drooled over a couple of others. My menu for today and tomorrow is already planned and I've shopped, so I'm not prepared to be adding new items. I had purchased the Pioneer Woman Cooks cookbook for my sil that lives in Houston for Christmas. She loves to cook and I just knew it was the PERFECT gift. I wrapped it real pretty and put it under the tree and then dog pee happened. Our old smelly Boston peed in front of the tree and it traveled to the one present under the tree and so now I had a Pioneer Woman Cooks with wet dog pee on one corner. I ripped off the paper sniffed the corner and although it did not stink of pee I knew I had to get another. So off to Borders with my 30% coupon in hand I go the Sunday before Christmas and repurchased the book. I'm so proud and it is so worth it because I know she is going to LOVE this book. We arrive in Mississippi and my sil from Houston always has books from a friend of hers that works in publishing. She throws a pile of cookbooks on the bed and says take what I want, but she thinks the Pioneer Woman Cooks looks really good and she would like to keep that one or I can take it and she will just get another one from her friend. I gave the book to her on Christmas morning and we had a good laugh-haha and I came home and had not one, but three Pioneer Woman Cooks cookbooks. I returned one to Borders and still have the dog pee one and the free one from my sil. I'm not sure what to do about the dog pee one, but I've never given away anything on my blog. Haha!

Auld Lang Syne

The Nester has a Best of the Nest 2009 posting that was really fun to read. I don't necessarily think these are my best posts, but they are posts I like for one reason or another.

I still feel like this about our church. We officially became members in November and I thank God every day for placing us in this church. He knew exactly where and what we needed in a church home. Sunday

This is one of my favorite recipes from the summer. Father's Day

My photography skills and camera are both somewhat lacking, but I love this shot of my Bird. Reluctant Ballerina

This is my post on the four year anniversary of Katrina. Katrina

My little Bird made me smile by putting her beloved doll in a shopping bag. Miracles Everyday

Christmas

Our Christmas on the coast spent with my husband's family was very pleasant. We ate delicious food and received thoughtful gifts. It's nice to have a family to spend time with on the holidays. I did miss going to the Christmas Eve service at our church and we considered going somewhere on the coast, but got wrapped up in cookie making and just being together. I love this retro tablecloth.
I thought the decorations on the sideboard were magical.
We always ride through neighborhoods looking at lights and we found this one. It cracked us up.
We are also Saints fans and love this family's support and Christmas spirit.

My Gratitude list continues:
16. cold brisk wind on sunny days
17. our tolerant cat
18. my daughter's sitter
19. clementines in season
20. warm socks

Happy Birthday to Me!

I'm officially 47 today. I make it sound like I have been waiting on it to get here. Today we travel to the coast to spend the holidays with my husband's family. Saying we are going to the coast sounds much more glamorous than we are going to Mississippi. It is the beach though. Looking so forward to getting there. I still have my secret love affair going on with Mississippi and ask God each day if we should go. I've also realized that I don't pray enough about little things. My big list where I pour out to God about my children's futures and major events or needs I take before him regularly, but I don't think I'm trusting God to work in my everyday things. It's not that I don't think he cares or would intervene, it's just that I think I know what he would want so I act without laying it before him. My gift to myself today is a commitment to take each thing before him and ask for his direction.
I loved the way my mantle turned out this year!

Phillipians 4:6 Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. NLT

Is it finally here?

I breathed a sigh of relief when I got up on Friday and knew it was the last day of school for this year. Everyone seemed cheerful and the students were even a little subdued considering the dancing of sugarplums most of them had in their heads all week. I'm really trying to hear God's voice and find time and quiet solitude to focus on the gift of Jesus. There are still many things to do. We are traveling this year and my T-Bone is finishing up a job in Alabama. There are still gifts to wrap, clothes to wash and pack, doctor's appointments, lights to see, a dog to kennel, and other little nagging jobs to handle, but I'm glad to be off from work and know we will soon be on our way to the coast.

My Gratitude list continues:
11. my husband's salvation
12. Sunday afternoon calls from my son
13. O Holy Night
14. my new physical therapist
15. our small group

Happy Birthday, Jesus

This morning I find myself waking up renewed and I'm feeling encouraged by my lack of aches and pains. A couple of weeks ago, one of our vocab words was "looming" and I have been fighting off the feeling that Christmas was "looming" over me. That will certainly rob you of any joy you are feeling. I'm really looking forward to Christmas; it's all the things that must get done to get there that start to turn it into such a chore. I read this devotional this morning and thought what a sweet idea it is to remind us of the real gift we are celebrating this season. Today I'm unwrapping the gift that will never break or cease to bring me joy-the gift of Jesus. I'm linking this to Emily over at Chatting at the Sky.

This is our new nativity set that I found in a local shop. It's called the Happy Birthday, Jesus Nativity Set. It's one of the best impulse purchases I've ever made. The little story with the set said that the elves dropped to their knees and began to pray at the sight of the newborn child.

John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life.

Gratitude Journal

My last post was so bleak; I knew I needed to share some positive thoughts and for the most part I do go through my days with a heart of gratitude. This little journal is so sweet. I want one for my sil for Christmas and managed to track one down at a local Borders.You can get one at Garnet Hill.
My Gratitude list continues:
6. twinkling lights on the tree
7. clouds in the winter sky
8. nativity scenes
9. nonstop Christmas music on the radio
10. quiet time

Pain again

I feel as if I've been sucked into the vortex of chaos again. My last post was a couple of weeks ago and I was feeling very good and I mean in all ways, spiritually, emotionally, physically which is a big deal. So I was just minding my own business driving to work and wham, I get t-boned. I spent the next few moments shaking off the shock, assessing the damage, and trying to remain calm for the teenage girls that had plowed into me. (I drive through a high school zone each morning on the way to my middle school.) No one was bleeding, the cars could be driven, everyone had insurance and my looking for the good in the bad worked in those moments. Anyway, the car accident created more "things" to deal with like insurance adjusters, rental cars, doctor appointments, and phone calls. The next day I felt like a train had plowed over me and the pain I had worked so hard to rid myself of came back with a vengeance. My three months of physical therapy on my shoulder was wiped out in that one moment. The new medication that had started working to control the overall pain I felt on a daily basis stopped working overnight. The clenching of my teeth that is triggered by stress and creates pain in my face, neck, and shoulder that had been alleviated by letting a chiropractor pop my neck for the last three months suddenly returned. The pain in my shoulder is unrelenting; it now radiates down my arm. It speaks to me all day and keeps me awake at night. I have asked God for healing and relief. You see my life ticks on. I do not have the luxury of stopping and wallowing in this pain. I still enjoyed hosting Thanksgiving, going with my family to see the Rockettes, doing a little shopping, getting out the Christmas things, going to church, teaching sixth graders every day, and just being with my family. Today I'm asking God what I need to do to rid myself of this pain.

2 Corinthians 12:8-9 Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

Family

I'm the youngest of four children, but I'm the only child from my parent's marriage. My older brother and sister were teenagers by the time I was born. My brother and his wife live fairly close to us, but just don't seem to spend much time together. We do the get together at the holidays for lunch and usually everyone will come for the Bird's birthday. I asked both my siblings to go to church with us this past Sunday (my T-Bone was baptized)and it was so funny that the message was on family and the importance of it. My brother reached across and took my hand and my sister's at one point. It really served as a reconnection for us. There is nothing as far as anger or conflict, it is just that we don't make an effort. I'm unwrapping my small gift of a quiet place spending Sunday afternoon with my family in celebration. I know God wants us to be closer. I'm linking to Emily over at Chatting at the Sky.

Christmas Shopping

My plans for the day are to go shopping. Hopefully, I will finish the majority of things I wanted to purchase today. We are trying to keep it simple this year and the only one I get a little out of hand with is The Bird. I am clueless as to what to get T-Bone too. Wish me luck!
This is our Christmas card photo from last year made on the beach at Thanksgiving.

A Gift of a Tuesday

I am so busy at work. Most of my days are a whirlwind and I leave each day reminding myself of what I did not accomplish. Secretly I had been longing for a "personal" day off to clean, read, make lists, but felt that it would just put me further behind at work. My day off came today though in the form of a fever in my Bird. The rain is falling and it is so cold and damp, but we get to stay in and snuggle in the bed and read books and make lists and do laundry in between doses of ibuprofen. Don't get me wrong! I'm not glad my Bird is sick, but I am looking for the good and appreciating the space to breathe and care for her. I'm linking my little jump off the fast pace of life today to Tuesday's Unwrapped over at Chatting at the Sky.